Noodle Soup

Nothing can instill deep, sincere homesickness quite like food. Specifically, food you don't recognize.
Food, in fact, that looks suspiciously like Things We Don't Eat. Take for example that mainstay of Thai cuisine, the good old street vendor noodle soup. What exactly are those sinister cadaver-grey golfball shaped edibles anyway? And why pray, are there only 2 of them. Maybe a diet of exploitative Indiana Jones movies has left me with an overactive imagination, but the least one can do is make a little effort in disguise...add some food colouring, make it three instead of 2, and please please, change the size.
I do eat them though, but with a particular mechanical jaw action that suggests to the casual observer, "He's killing something" or "Hit him with a broom! He touched the wire!" or more likely "He knows not what he eats...yet his eyes allude to terrible suspicion"

At some point it all gets a little too much and one wakes bathed in deep refined-sugar withdrawal sweat, neon logo'd Pizza Hut burning through the cortex. Giving in to this dark demon has terrible consequences for both diet and wallet. There is no wheat in Asia, and based on the price tag of a medium Hawaiian, no cheese or sugar either. In fact, the single most expensive meal you can buy in Asia is probably a pizza from Pizza Hut. We're talking more expensive than the King Prawns in a top local restaurant. And to add insult in injury, after months of eating rice and green bean, it leaves you feeling quite nauseous...but that's the price of western food crack.

I do prefer the soup...If only it would stop watching me....