Formalities first - I big thank you to all my friends and (ex)co-workers for showing me off in fabulous style and medical supplies...
Which brings me rapidly ( readers already dropping off in the back row) to:
New Things I've Learnt on my Travels ( Day 1 ):
1.) Don't ask a local to put 8 litres of petrol into your motorcycle when it only takes 3. This will cause silence, raised eyebrow and pertinent question:
"How long you have bike?"
..."eeeh, 10 minutes"
"How long you drive moto?"
..."eh, 10 minutes"...
2.) Don't attempt quick embarrassed getaway from petrol lean-to using both accelerator and brake. Will result in panicked chickens, irate mange dog and formal motorcycle lesson by concerned local.(quite useful truth be known)
2.) There are 2 fundamental things that single travelers' are unable to do:
a.) take photos of themselves ( see attached photoshop workaround )
and
b.) Put suntan lotion between their shoulder blades.
Therefore, being a man of solutions, find attached first blue print ( and guaranteed best-seller ) of "Nice tan you ol' hottie" Combo Self Photo/Lotion Applicator.
Of course you could just walk up to some Venezuelan skinny dipper and ask her to apply some lotion between you sinewy rear board and get her equally under-attired friend to take the picture of the whole Ibiza-esque fraternade, but after 35, it can all be a bit touch n' go.
3.) You can never have enough Mecurochrome. ( photos hopefully not to follow)
3 comments:
Buddy this is hysterical! I look forward to reading more :) U could always hire a local to film u constantly, like ur own documentary entourage - or attach camera to mange dog and keep food in your pocket. x Tree
I found out what Borax is.. we have some at home, and apparently you can use it to remove all kinds of stains from things. It also works as an insect repellent.
Alex
Now remember, when you're flying down those Uluwatu roads at night, wear goggles and keep your mouth shut! Woot! x Wends
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